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A 3am thunderstorm was raging outside. I was neither sleeping well nor spiritually peaceful, the physical reality outside reflecting the chaos of my inner world. I rolled out of bed, grabbed my Bible, and started boiling some water for a cup of tea. It seemed there was no chance of the storm calming down outside. I was awake for the day.

Cradling my hot tea in my groggy state, I thought back to a moment a week prior when I journaled the words, “I’m still here.” When I had written those words God asked me, “But are you?”

Oof. God doesn’t ask us questions because He doesn’t know the answers. He wants us to face that question head-on and answer for our own benefit. It was apparently time to answer that question.

Feeling completely stuck, my situation looking the same as it did the year before, I was struggling to stand firm on God’s promises anymore. I knew full well I wasn’t resting well in the spiritual storm I was in. I was riddled with fear and anxiety. I physically couldn’t tune out the sound of the thunderstorm around me this particular morning, let alone the lies of the enemy. The hole in my wall that developed later that day from a leaky roof matched the hole in my heart… she writes, so melodramatically.

Sometimes we feel as if we’re stuck in the same place. “I’m still here.” A year goes by – or five or ten – with no progress to show for it. Still waiting. Still hoping. Still believing for a miracle. Still here.

But when we are in a continued place of waiting, while we are still here, are we still, here? Are we here and also still? Do we really understand what stillness is?

I’ve started to see a direct correlation between being still and also standing. When we think of “being still” we think of rest. We probably picture ourselves seated, maybe by a calm lake or in a field of wildflowers. We assume tranquility. However, when God fought a battle for His people, they were still, but they weren’t sitting. They were standing ready.

You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.

2 Chronicles 20:17

In this recent intense and super vague, I’m-not-going-into-personal-details-on-a-blog spiritual storm, I asked some close friends to fast on my behalf with me. I had never done that before. I’m not one to ask for help with much of anything. Humbling myself enough to ask people to skip delicious meals to pray for me was genuinely one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

A brief commercial break: If you don’t have a group of friends who will say yes to crazy requests like this, you need to get some. It’s life-changing.

It reminded me of when Aaron and Hur held up Moses’s arms during battle in Exodus 17. Moses himself wasn’t even fighting, but He needed support while standing still and holding up his staff on the mountain above the battle. As long as his arms were raised, the Israelites were winning the battle. As soon as his arms fell, the Israelites started losing. So his friends grabbed a rock for him to sit on, stood next to him, and held his arms up while he stayed still.

A few chapters before Aaron and Hur held up Moses’s arms in battle, The Israelites were standing at the edge of the Red Sea with Pharaoh’s army fast approaching.

Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Exodus 14:13-14

We quote that verse a lot when people are struggling. “Be still. Just be still.” But right before that, Moses gives the instruction to, “Stand firm.”

During the fast, one of my friends mentioned Ephesians 6 to me, where Paul wrote about putting on the armor of God so you can stand firm.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 6:13

And after you have done everything, to stand.

Stillness isn’t a seated position. Stillness is not a mystical, zen state of mind while the world crumbles around you. Stillness is standing firm on God’s truth and His promises. Only when we stand, can we truly be still.

Not like walking or running, standing is a stationary posture. But standing is still active. Standing is being still, but not idle. Standing is a readiness. When God says to “Be still” we aren’t to spiritually sit down and relax. That is not the time to check out. When God says, “Be still,” that is our cue to armor up and stand firm on His truth yet again.

As the Body of Christ, we aren’t on the defense; we are literally always on the offense because the war has already been won. Curling up in the fetal position to take a beating in our spiritual battles is never what God intends for us when He says, “Be still.” We are the Church. The gates of hell cannot stand against us. We’re advancing. We’re taking ground. Through Jesus, we have full power and authority over the rulers of this dark world. But we have to stand up and stand firm.

I won’t back down

The first night of this particular storm, the lyrics from Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down” popped into my head. Actually, it was more of a burning rage deep within my bones in a, “hell, no. This is not happening,” kind of way. But I think that was the passion God wanted to stir up in me. Everything in me wanted to quit that night. But God put that song into my spirit to keep standing. I drove around the city into the wee hours of the morning belting that song like a prayer, a battle cry against the enemy’s fiery darts, and as a reminder to myself not to sit down. “You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won’t back down. No, I’ll stand my ground.” I will stand firm. I will stand resolute. I will stand still and let God fight this battle.

If you are up against something bigger than you, then let God fight for you. If you are still in the same place waiting for God’s promises to unfold, don’t sit. Instead, put on the full armor of God so you can stand firm. Get some friends to hold your arms up when you can’t anymore. Fast and pray. Prepare. And after you have done everything, stand firm, stand still. And you will see the deliverance of the Lord.

Disclaimer: After talking with friends one night about those of us who seem to be perpetually single within the Church, I started writing a letter to encourage the single men in my community. However, I quickly realized I couldn’t challenge them before I admonish women. I and my fellow sisters have most certainly contributed to this problem. Yes, I am calling it a problem. Our singleness isn’t a punishment or a flaw, but God Himself said it was not good for man to be alone. Adam being the only human was a problem in the Garden of Eden and God offered a solution by creating women. But for some reason, we haven’t wanted to work together to be that solution.

I wrote this with a specific community in mind: my own. But being a part of multiple churches throughout the years, I think it could apply across the board to the entire Body of Christ, or at least to those who are single and don’t want to be. It’s time we help each other out. It’s time we talk about these things, men and women, together. No more us and them. There are millions of individuals with millions of perspectives, experiences, expectations, and preferences. I can only write from what I know and observe. But I hope it helps to some degree and will at least open up dialogue.

I aim to write this with love and grace. Sometimes love is tough, and I wonder if that is the kind of discipleship we need in this area. Please know, my goal is not to hurt or judge, but rather to call us all higher. I want us all to win in relationships.

—

Ladies, can we talk about the men: how we see them, relate to them, and date them? We’re waiting for the guys to “get it together,” when all the while we’re missing the mark in some areas, placing the blame on men instead of improving upon our own mistakes. Most of us don’t want to be single forever and I believe we can do a few things to help the guys and each other out as we walk through this season. This isn’t an exhaustive list. I don’t claim to have all the answers. These are simply a few areas I see where we can improve how we interact with men and love them well.

Embrace the process.

There is a beautiful process to this relationship thing, but as women, we always try to rush it. We like the idea of the finish line. So much of this has been the stigma placed on singleness within the Church. We’re treated as flawed somehow because we haven’t found our soulmates yet and aren’t the baby-making machines we should be. We think marriage is the end-all-be-all measure of success, so we often get ahead of ourselves. But we first have to learn how to cultivate friendships with men. Before they are potential husbands, before we do the left-hand ring check (and you know you do, don’t lie), remember: these men are first our brothers.

Instead of pouncing on them, could we encourage them? It is entirely possible to make ourselves available to the men in our lives without throwing ourselves at them. I mean this with all the love in the world: please stop being so desperate. You’re making us all look a little crazy. And you’re scaring the poor guys who think very linearly. While you’re already picturing him at the end of the aisle on your wedding day, he might be thinking, “This girl is cool.” That’s it. Homeboy isn’t seeing you as his wife yet. He needs to get to know you first. So slow down, sister. Let the men set the pace. If we want leaders, then we have to at least give them a chance to step up to the plate.

Even if/when you KNOW he’s “the one,” you can’t skip steps. Well, you can, but you’ll trip. Even when you both see a future with the other right from the beginning, still take the time to get to know that person before declaring your love. Find out what God loves about that person. Draw boundaries so your love for each other is safe. Hold each other with open hands, because if you want God to rule supreme in your life and your relationships, He needs to have control. When you hold on too tight, you squeeze the life out of anything beautiful and growing. God can still expedite the process. But let HIM do that, don’t try to force it yourself. God won’t ever move within your timeframe. He’s too good for that.

“The One” is actually a myth.

You haven’t missed out on the only man in the world for you. He didn’t marry someone else and leave you a lonely spinster. You don’t have to search high and low to seek him out. This is not a scavenger hunt. God will put men in your path who you can choose to love. In the same way He allows us to choose to love Him, we are given the free will to love and choose others. Love is a choice. That man you have your eye on also has the gift of free will and deserves to choose who he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Don’t pray that you get him, pray that he is filled with wisdom and discernment to choose well, even if it’s not you.

Clean hands. Pure hearts. Can’t lose.

When we talk purity in the church, we are almost exclusively talking sexual purity, but purity is way more than just a sexual thing. Purity is a heart posture, not a behavioral pattern. It speaks to the motivation of the heart. Why do you dress the way you do? Why do you flirt the way you do? How do you speak? Why do you choose the friends you have? Why do you date the guys you do? We have to ask ourselves these questions and be really honest about our answers. Ask Holy Spirit to reveal the motives of your heart. God’s word says even we don’t know them fully.

All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord.

PROVERBS 16:2

When our heart’s motives are pure, our behavior will reflect that. A lot of Christian women won’t sleep with their boyfriends, but regularly manipulate men and cause so much pain and heartache in the process. A truly pure heart is motivated by a desire to honor God and others. Are you being selfish or are you being a servant? Are you seeking to get a need met or are you trying to love someone selflessly and honor them? We are not our own. Honor yourself. Honor the Lord. Honor your future husband with the way you carry yourself today.

Seek and speak what you want to see.

We see what we look for. I used to be the girl who said things like, “all the good ones are taken.” I couldn’t have been more wrong. I look around my church now and see incredible single men serving and worshiping and chasing Jesus with all they have.

Now I’m so grieved when I hear women criticize and complain about the men around them. Honestly, I wouldn’t date us either if that’s how we are going to talk about them. Who would want to be with someone who looks down on them and doesn’t think they’re good enough?

If all you’re looking for is what is wrong with every man, and you believe all the good ones are taken, you will most certainly see that around you. You will see all the flaws. You will believe that only a perfect man is husband material. I would bet if you asked the wives around you, they would be able to list the flaws in their husbands you perceive to be so perfect. But the good wives will honor their husbands and speak life.

Look at the men in your community with fresh and renewed eyes. Look for their good qualities and you will find them. Speak what you want to see. Prophesy over the men in your community. Encourage them. Pray for them.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

EPHESIANS 4:29-32

This leads me into my next point:

Don’t gossip about your exes.

The men in our communities hear us talk about them. They hear the trash-talking. They see how reputations have been destroyed. Some men can’t date within their circles anymore because all the women around them know all the gory details of their past relationships – but only from one perspective.

Not every relationship is going to last. If you date well, you can break up well. Yes, you will still need to heal, but your healing process should never include telling your community about the perceived or actual toxicity of another person. More than likely, at least on some level, you are hurting and afraid to see him with someone else. But even if he was the most terrible, it’s not your job to be the discerning voice warning other women to steer clear. The way you speak of your exes is more revealing of your character than his. Choose your words wisely.

Celebrate others.

I know it’s hard to watch others get what you’ve only dreamed of. The love and romance, the sparkly diamond rings and gorgeous wedding gowns, the family and sense of belonging. But genuinely celebrating others in their relationships will rob you of nothing except your own pride and bitterness. Throw jealousy away. If God can do it for them, He can do it for you. Let their fulfilled promises fuel your faith.

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Romans 12:15

Build a godly community.

Don’t only surround yourself with people in the same stage of life as you. Find people who are steps ahead of you in all areas. Find married couples that can speak life over you and offer advice as you seek relationship. Find those who are great with managing finances, building solid relationships, pursuing emotional health, and surrendered to the Lord. Invite those people into the process.
And also bring people into your circles who are a few steps behind you. There’s something about pouring into others that unlocks fresh revelation for your own life. Serving and mentoring others will keep us from selfishness and pride.

Know your purpose.

We have a purpose beyond marriage and motherhood. We have assignments here on earth that only we can do. We need to know who God created us to be so our husbands recognize us as their helpers. If we know and understand how to use our gifts, we will know exactly how we can come alongside our husband to build our corner of the Kingdom together. Your marriage is not exclusively for your happiness and fulfillment. Building God’s Kingdom is why He puts us in relationship together.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Chase after your God-given dreams with all you’ve got while you’re single. Keep an eye out for who is running along side you while you serve God’s people. Your man will find you when you know who and Who’s you are.

—
Again, this isn’t an exhaustive list. I’m sure I’ll think of a few more points as soon as I hit “publish.” In the meantime, I would love to hear your thoughts. Guys, what are some ways we as women can help you out? Ladies, take a look inward. What are some things you could do better? I want us to actually talk about this stuff so we can learn and grow. Whatchu got?

*Part 2: To the men, coming soon!*

I was still trying to sort through God’s plans and muster the faith to move across the country to an unknown city, a friend considering the same kind of leap. We were on a walk one fall afternoon, watching the sun set behind the Rocky Mountains,  when she said, “I don’t know… If I were younger like you, maybe. But at 30 years old, I can’t do something like that. I missed my chance.” I was 29, and according to her it was my last year to live it up and take a risk.

Best case scenario, it was some sort of, “oh, you’re so preciously young and naive” approach to discussing my dreams to make herself feel better in her moment of uncertainty. But the reality is, at least to some degree she actually believed the words she said.

Listen, I’m not even gonna circle around the issue here. You are simply not too young or too old to walk in obedience and pursue the life God planned out for you. If there is a dream in your heart, there is a God who put it there, and it doesn’t have an expiration date. The time is now. You didn’t miss your shot. Turning 30 or 40 or 50 does not instantly disqualify you. Your lack of effort is the only thing that can pull you out of the race marked out for you.

Maybe my friend was supposed to stay in Colorado. But if fear or insecurity was what kept her there, then she was living as a slave to a lie from the pit of hell. There’s no sugar-coating it. Will God be with her wherever she is? Of course. But what is God’s BEST plan for her? What could God do THROUGH her if she let go of the fear that kept her imprisoned?

I know my life wouldn’t have progressed much if I hadn’t moved. Transitioning to Nashville was the catalyst for so much personal growth. It opened the door to do so many new and cool opportunities to build God’s kingdom. I shudder to think what I would have forfeited if I had stayed in Colorado simply because moving to an unknown city didn’t make sense to me.

What God asks us to do doesn’t have to make sense to us. God doesn’t ask us to understand; He asks us to obey.

We trick ourselves when we think and overthink about what we’re called to do. We assume we’re being prudent. We want to make sure we make the right decisions on the way there. But it paralyzes us into doing nothing.

I feel such an urgency lately for people to do the thing God asked them to do. I want to see the Church actually, for the reals, rise up and pursue their purpose. What did God put you here on earth to do? Are you doing it, or are you just thinking and talking about it? Are you afraid to take the first step because it feels big like moving across the country? Are you waiting for another sign that it’s what you’re supposed to be doing?

“Give God something to bless.” My friend Naomi said that to me one night. It’s written on my heart forever now.

God can’t bless a vision unless we put it into play. God can’t bless all the dreams we have unless we actually do something to accomplish them. God can’t move your feet in the right direction if you’re sitting on them. Talking is easy. Dreaming is easy. Overcoming fear and activating the discipline to actually DO… that’s where people get tripped up. That’s where dreams die.

Be a Doer. Talking about your dreams isn’t enough. Wondering if you should or shouldn’t isn’t enough. You have to actually pursue them. Chase them like they stole your purse. Get up before the sun. Give your Saturdays, your Sunday afternoon nap times, your corporateland lunch breaks to DO the thing you love to talk about. Doing is the greatest weapon against your fear. Doing is the thing that proves the haters wrong. You have to drown out the lies with doing, not thinking.

If you’re looking for a sign, this is it. Try the thing you’re thinking about. If it’s wrong, God will direct your steps into what is right.

We don’t have anymore time to waste. Nothing will ever happen if all your ideas are just bouncing around in your head. Nothing will happen if you are afraid you’ve missed your chance. We can’t let anyone or anything talk us out of it. We can’t overthink it. We can’t believe the lies that we’ve missed our chance or that we’re not experienced enough to start. We have to do something – anything. Give God something to bless. Let’s go!

Manna. I’m not praying for it. If you ask me to pray for proverbial manna from heaven, I will not. You’ve been forewarned. And I say that with so much love in my heart.

I’ve often heard people ask God to send “manna.” Manna from heaven like God gave the Israelites in the desert. It sounds super spiritual. It’s a Christianese way of saying we need God to come through for us, we need provision, we need God to meet an urgent need. We look at the miracle of the manna in Exodus and we see a God who delivers food out of the clear blue sky. Every day, it was just enough.

That’s great. I’m just simply not going to pray that for you.

I’m not trying to minimize the manna as less than a miracle from God – it clearly was. I also understand when Christians want God to give them just enough in a situation because they feel they are at the end of their rope. But when someone asks me to pray for proverbial manna, I am inclined to ask why they are being disobedient to God.

Let’s look at why God provided the manna for the Israelites in the first place, starting at their grand exodus from Egypt.

When Pharaoh released the people, God did not lead them by the way to the land of the Philistines, although that was nearby, for God said, “Lest the people change their minds and return to Egypt when they experience war.” So God brought the people around by the way of the wilderness to the Red Sea, and the Israelites went up from the land of Egypt prepared for battle.

Exodus 13:17-18, NET

First off, The Israelites were led the long way through the desert because God knew they weren’t ready for what the shorter path had in front of them. He took them all back roads instead of the interstate. He knew they were weak-minded and would want to turn back to slavery rather than fight for God’s promises. He led them to a point of no return because their faith wasn’t big enough yet.

If they had been prepared to go the short way, they would have had more than enough food and supplies to make it.  Actually, if they hadn’t bargained themselves into 40 years into the desert, they would have had enough regardless of their mapquest route.

So they weren’t prepared for the road to God’s promises, were DEFINITELY not prepared for the shortcut, then they complained like a mob of hangry toddlers.

When they journeyed from Elim, the entire company of Israelites came to the wilderness of Sin, which is between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth day of the second month after their exodus from the land of Egypt. The entire company of Israelites murmured against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness. The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat, when we ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger!” Then the Lord said to Moses, “I am going to rain bread from heaven for you, and the people will go out and gather the amount for each day, so that I may test them. Will they walk in my law or not? On the sixth day they will prepare what they bring in, and it will be twice as much as they gather every other day.” Moses and Aaron said to all the Israelites, “In the evening you will know that the Lord has brought you out of the land of Egypt, and in the morning you will see the glory of the Lord, because he has heard your murmurings against the Lord. As for us, what are we, that you should murmur against us?” Moses said, “You will know this when the Lord gives you meat to eat in the evening and bread in the morning to satisfy you, because the Lord has heard your murmurings that you are murmuring against him. As for us, what are we? Your murmurings are not against us, but against the Lord.” Then Moses said to Aaron, “Tell the whole community of the Israelites, ‘Come before the Lord, because he has heard your murmurings.’” As Aaron spoke to the whole community of the Israelites and they looked toward the wilderness, there the glory of the Lord appeared in the cloud, and the Lord spoke to Moses, “I have heard the murmurings of the Israelites. Tell them, ‘During the evening you will eat meat, and in the morning you will be satisfied with bread, so that you may know that I am the Lord your God.’”

Exodus 16:1-12, NET

The Israelites were so obnoxious, God and Moses make a point to mention their murmuring eight times in these verses. I might be the only one, but I see the manna as a disciplinary measure for poor behavior, not a blessing. God also clearly defines it as a test.

Is that really what you want? Are you complaining and asking for a test?

People ask for manna-like miracles when they have lost their job, need a new home in a pinch, or need money to pay bills and the like – when they feel they have exited a spiritual Egypt and are wandering through a desert season in search of the Promised Land. I’m not saying we shouldn’t pray for miracles in these situations – please don’t hear that. But I have to ask the hard questions here: Are you asking for manna because you already know you aren’t being fully obedient and you’re hoping God will throw you a bone? Are you hoping for manna because you don’t trust God will deliver on His promises? What was the last thing God told you to do? Are you ignoring Him? Are you trying to get God to carry out your plans or are you walking in obedience with His plans?

Bottom line, the manna was provided because the Israelites were ill-prepared, weak-minded, complaining, and disobedient. They were stuck in the desert far longer than they needed to be. They actually begged to go back into slavery. The manna they received was a miracle to sustain them because God will not break His covenant with His people. It wasn’t a miracle of blessing and abundance. He had so much more for them, but they forfeited all the abundance the Promised Land had to offer. They traded God’s forever promises for instant gratification.

I’m simply not going to pray that for you. Instead, I’m going to pray you are overwhelmed with a desire to seek God with all your heart. I’m going to pray you hear God’s voice clearly and walk in faithful obedience regardless of the sacrifices it takes. I will encourage you to stir up an urgency within your soul to do His will and praise Him before the miracle has happened. And I will pray God finds you ready and capable when He does give you manna tests. Your readiness and stewardship of the manna will determine whether you continue to wander in the wilderness or advance to your Promised Land. God wants His absolute best for you. Do you want His best for yourself?

Do you really want manna today or can you wait for the Promised Land flowing with milk and honey and grapes as big as your head? Do you want the kinds of miracles that are brought about by complaining and disobedience? Or do you want the miracles that come from your obedience, surrender, and praise?

When we are obedient and faithful, we don’t have to beg. We can trust and rest in God’s goodness even if life gets hard. We see His promises fulfilled in our lives through submission and surrender, not whining and complaining. We don’t have to strive or convince God to give us a miracle. He delights in giving His children good gifts. So I will pray you and I prepare our hearts in such a way to receive those gifts well.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

Philippians 1:6

I like to know how things end. If I’m binging a new-to-me tv show, I’m the person who will google what happens with each character. I need to know right now if someone dies or a couple breaks up three seasons down the road. It doesn’t ruin the show at all for me to know the ending while I’m still watching it all unfold. It brings comfort and gives me a semblance of control.

When I was talking with a friend the other day about waiting for promises to be fulfilled, being patient in the process, trusting God’s timing, not knowing how things are going to end, and all that good stuff, I was reminded of something my brother used to say when he was little. Like many kids, the broski used to eat ridiculously slow. He wasn’t a particularly picky eater; he liked most foods. He was just. so. slow. One day one of my parents urged him to pick up the pace when, with all the sass in the world he replied, “I’m eating slow for joy.”

It instantly became a family motto: Slow for joy. Anytime anyone was dragging their feet with something, it was, “I’m going slowwww for joyyyy!”

Friends, God likes going slow for joy. He is working things out at His pace for His pleasure. God takes His time because He loves to watch things grow. Trees start as seeds, buried in the ground. The don’t just simply appear as fruit-bearing towers overnight. Roots have to dig deep. Sometimes it takes decades before a tree bears the fruit it was created for. And we would never expect a baby to suddenly morph into a full-grown adult. We enjoy the process of watching our children grow, take their first steps, lose their first tooth, start school, learn to read, and so on.

But when it comes to ourselves, we want to see how everything ends. If our life were a movie, we would look up the plot line on IMDB. Do we get the hunky husband, 3 perfect kids, modern farmhouse, impactful ministry, and beach vacations every year? What will our life look like when we’ve finally “made it?”

God delights in the process. He loves to see who we become on the way to the thing. He wants a greater intimacy with us as we walk through life’s challenges. God loves to watch things grow, including us. The ending isn’t what matters as much as who He shapes us to be on the way there, transforming us from glory to glory.

This process is sanctification and God looooooves it.

“We’ll never thrive in the process unless we accept the place where God has put us, because that is the only place He will work with us. Faithfulness and obedience call us to recognize what God is asking us to put our hands to and what He is emphasizing in our lives…It takes faith and commitment to trust the God who gave us both the dream and our current assignment and to say, ‘I don’t understand how You’re going to get me from here to there. But getting me there is Your job, and this wall in front of me is my job.’ Faithfulness to build the wall is not giving up your dream; it’s trusting God with your dream.”

Banning Liebscher, Rooted

Right now we’re on the cusp between summer and fall and we’re seeing two different kinds of people: those enjoying every last second of sunshine and warmth, and those already busting out the scarves and sipping a pumpkin spice latte.

I’m always painfully aware of those trying to rush into the next season, both literally and spiritually. They are never content with their current situation, never pausing to ask God what they should be learning, doing, and enjoying in this moment right here and now. When I ask the PSL lovers why they are racing toward the crisp fall air, they always reply with, “I’m ready. I’m just ready for fall.” The people who are rushing toward the next season of life say the same: “I’m ready.”

Does God think you are ready though?

Growing up in Colorado, I often saw rapid season changes. There is no slow progress with the weather when you’re a mile high. It could be 80 degrees one day, and snowing the next. When the heavy snow fell on trees still gripping the bright green leaves, their branches broke. The leaves were still far too alive and the snow weighed down the branches until they couldn’t bear the weight. They cracked under the pressure. The leaves needed the slow progression of shorter days. The trees needed the leaves to leisurely die off. The earth needs the gradual transition from summer into fall and winter so things can keep on growing year after year instead of breaking and dying.

God carries you slowly from season to season intentionally. The transition process is so you can shed your dead leaves. There are lessons to be learned, preparations to be made, opportunities to be obedient to what God has asked of you. All of these things help to grow you into who you are becoming. When the weight of the dead things in your life aren’t pulling you down, you will be able to withstand the harsh winter and God can bring new growth in the spring and summer.

Your impact on this world will only reach as far out as your roots go deep. God absolutely wants you to bear fruit, and not just temporary fruit, but fruit that lasts. (John 15) This will only happen if you abide in Him and embrace the process of growth and pruning. There’s no shortcut. There’s no way around the process. If you rush the season you’re in, you won’t survive the next. God loves to watch you grow, and the process is for your good so you can withstand the pressure of the next seasons.

There is joy to be found in every season you are in. And there is work to do in every season as well. We always have an assignment that will prepare us for the next phase of life. Embrace the process. When you are ready for what’s next, God will know. In the meantime, walk with Him at His pace, slow for joy.

I’m not typically a chatty person. Some people are, and that’s great. Some people repeat themselves more than necessary, some have a lot of new and wonderful words to say, and some just love the sound of their own voices. I, on the other hand, tend to only say what I absolutely need to, and will only say it once. 

Recently I had a revelation of sorts. Not a new piece of information that I’d never heard before, but something I already knew in my head that hadn’t quite made it to my heart yet.

In my writing journey, I always thought my aspiration for perfection was my greatest hurdle to jump. I struggled to finish pieces because I wanted the end result to be 100% flawless.

But it hit me one Thursday in the most ordinary of ways, walking from my living room into my bathroom. More than never reaching the imaginary finish line of perfection, I was actually afraid of running out of content. Again, I’m the type of person who speaks in as few words as possible and tend to write in the same fashion. I’m not going to repeat myself. Redundancy is a huge pet-peeve of mine. Even this paragraph feels too repetitive and I’ve deleted and rewritten it multiple times. Didn’t I already say I’m not chatty? I really don’t need to emphasize it, right?

In my hallway that day, I stared fear in the face as it whispered lies and asked me ridiculous questions. What if I share all my words and I have nothing left to say? What if I write the best thing I’ve ever written today and nothing can top it? What if the three thoughts in my head right now are the last three thoughts I will ever think!?! It all sounds so absurd, but I have dozens of half-written blog posts on my phone to prove not only my fear of imperfection but also my fear of finishing them and never having another word to write. If I am left empty of words, then what?

God immediately interrupted me with a quippy one-liner as He often does. “You know that’s not how My kingdom works.” Then He, of course, took me to the Parable of the Talents.

“For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’ But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ “

Matthew 25:14-30 ESV

When we use our gifts, we won’t use them up to the point of running empty. If we put what God gives us back to work for His kingdom, He will multiply it. The money, the resources, the talents. He multiplies it all. We know this. But for some reason many of us still struggle to be faithful with what we have.

The third man in this parable hid his talent because he was afraid. He didn’t want to risk losing the one talent he had. I stopped writing because I was afraid of running out of words. What are you afraid to lose? Are you burying what God gave you to use?

As long as my half-written pieces stay stacked up, it gives me the illusion that I still have plenty of words to share. So basically I stop writing in the present to hold onto the potential of accomplishment in the future. I’ll have something to share tomorrow if I so desire.

“If I so desire.” It’s a control thing. I want control over the result.

The catch is, every time I put the pen down for a season, I forfeit any progress I’ve made. I have to start the process all over again. I am so worried about reaching perfection but my fear of lack is tripping me up prematurely. It’s like I’m cutting off God’s miraculous power. The reality is, my brain does have a limited number of thoughts and words at the present. But if I use them, God will fill me with more.

In 2 Kings 4, Elisha is talking with the widow who was in debt and who’s sons are about to be sold into slavery. He tells her to go collect all the jars from her neighbors and pour her one jar of oil into the new jars. We don’t know how many jars she ended up with, but we do know that the oil from the one small jar multiplied. Only when she ran out of vessels did the oil stop flowing. If she had collected five hundred more jars, I’m certain she would have had enough oil for those as well.

If we are obedient to use what we have, we will always have enough to give. Even it it is small, we will always be pouring from a full jar. Until the job is done, until we are out of days to fill, until we hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant,” we will always have enough talent to pour out for God’s kingdom.

Creatives, you won’t run out of content as long as you are living life and being faithful with what God’s given you. God honors good stewardship. Those half-written lyrics, the melody that’s almost there, the canvas that’s primed and ready, the manuscript taking up space on your hard drive… what are you holding onto because you’re afraid to finish, you’re afraid of what will or won’t come next?

You are anointed and entrusted to steward your talent. Pour it out and trust that God will keep the oil flowing.

“Don’t believe everything you see.”

I woke up with this thought in my head this morning… A gentle instruction from the Lord, and a sweet reminder that faith is the assurance of what we do NOT see.

When God speaks, we won’t often see those promises unfold right away, and most of the time, our present situation will look like the total opposite of what He said. Everything around us will look like it’s not going to happen, like there is no way.

Yesterday I received a pretty specific prophetic word that basically confirmed all the things I’ve heard God saying already; it just came through a new voice for additional authentication. And I’m so grateful for the timing, because my current reality smacked me in the face with a vengeance just a few hours later. 

I went from standing tall and filled with hope to being knocked down on the ground with a broken heart, ready to call it quits, leave my church and my home, run for the hills, adopt 47 cats, and never speak to anyone again. Which is crazy, yes. But don’t we all get a little irrational when we make decisions based on our feelings?

The enemy will use our surrounding circumstances to taunt us, distract us, and try to talk us into quitting. This is exactly why God shares His heart’s desires with us – so we can rely on His Rhema Word instead of our five senses and keep our eyes fixated on Him instead of the problems around us. 

Because God keeps repeating His promises to me, I am able to stand back up and re-encourage my heart. I can choose to partner with faith in what I don’t yet see instead of partnering with the fear I feel from what I do see.

Friends, if God spoke a word, if He has promised something and it looks like all hope is lost, remind yourself of what He said. Remind yourself of every other time He’s been faithful. He is a God who keeps His promises. You do what you can do, and let Him do what only He can do. Walk in obedience and full surrender and trust that He’s not finished yet.

Our present reality is not God’s reality. Facts are not Truth. Don’t trust everything you hear. Don’t believe everything you see.