Author: Below the Summit

A quick stop at the grocery store after a full day. I just needed a couple things before a party. But driving out of the unfamiliar neighborhood I was in, Google Maps got confused as per usual and sent me in a big circle. Then I got stuck behind every possible human out for their Sunday Afternoon Drive in the middle of a Saturday. I knew I was being delayed for something. I had assumed I was avoiding an accident or something of the sort. That’s happened more than once, after all. By the time I pulled into the maze that is the Kroger parking lot, I was flustered and over it. Speed walking into the store, I saw the familiar top half of a masked-up face walking out with a couple bags. We stopped and chatted in the parking lot for a minute or two, then I was on my way. I honestly don’t even remember saying goodbye to him. I do, however, remember almost running into the side of a car before making it safely inside. Not five minutes later, I dropped a box of raspberries in the checkout lane. “Clean up on Register 13.” Yeah, that was me.

Later I was reflecting on the day and felt super convicted. If I’m that rushed and flustered for a surprise visit with someone I actually like and want to see, how will God ever interrupt me for a stranger. How will I ever hear Him if I’m supposed to pray for the mom in the cereal aisle or stop at the edge of the parking lot to chat with the woman living out of her car?

I’ve been under the instruction to “make room” this year. God keeps repeating that. Even before I had heard the song, it was spoken to me in prophetic words and coming up in conversations with friends.

And I’ve taken that instruction seriously, trying to make room in all areas of my life. I started with the tangible: my physical space. I purged like you wouldn’t believe. Marie Kondo would probably tell me I went too far. And mind you, I had moved five times in three years, so I was filtering through my stuff pre and post packing, on the regular. But this season I bid farewell to an additional 12 or so trash bags and a Jeep-load of donated items. Basically my house is empty now. Only the necessities.

It’s been so cathartic though. A cluttered home is a cluttered brain. A tidy space means I’m not distracted in my prayer time with what needs to be put away. A clean home means I can create with freedom.

But what about my schedule?

COVID shutdowns slowed us all down last year. Have we put our busy badges of honor back on already?

As I’m writing this, I don’t have a single evening open for the next three weeks. So I’m mostly preaching to myself here when I say we need to make room for God to interrupt the moments of our days.

A couple weeks after my raspberry mess of a day, God very specifically told me to go back to Kroger. I was at a prayer meeting at church first thing in the morning, and felt like I couldn’t even hesitate to leave right after it was finished. There was no stopping to chat with friends, there was no passing Go. I busted out the door as fast as I could and drove straight to the store. Thank God I heard His voice and obeyed. As I was walking through the parking lot, in nearly the same spot as a few weeks prior, a sweet lady on her smoke break wished me a good morning and started talking to me. This time I paid attention to the encounter. I stilled my restless mind to hear the thoughts of God. And when I stopped to talk with her, God gave me some profound encouragement to speak into her and pray over her. I see her frequently and we pray together almost every time I’m at Kroger now.

A few days later, I found another opportunity. I had snagged my neighbor’s deliveries while she was out of town, and when I took them over to her, naturally we started chatting it up. I still had some work to finish before I headed to church that evening and was starting to feel rushed to wrap up our conversation. Getting to church on time is a good thing, right? But God stopped me in her kitchen and whispered one of those, “duh, I should have known that” reminders. We are the Church. At the end of service my pastor always says, “Service is over, but Church is not.” Getting to a church service mattered so much less in that moment than being able to love her and build community around her. She now attends my Co Group.

We ask God to use us, but we don’t want to be bothered. We have lofty dreams of rescuing kids from the trafficking industry, but we can’t break away from our sweet dreams and get out of bed to serve at our church’s early service. We want to travel the world preaching the gospel to stadiums of people but we won’t even look up from our phones to smile at the person sitting at the table next to ours at a coffee shop. We know we’re supposed to care for those experiencing homelessness, but, oh, that guy is just looking for money to buy alcohol. Surely Jesus didn’t mean him, right? We have a rooftop happy hour to get to. We pray for others to be interrupted to provide a room for a kiddo in the foster care system because we don’t feel “called.” Carrying the burden of loving a broken-hearted child is too hard. But then we don’t even want to make a simple extra stop on the way home from work when God prompts us to, because we’re tired and just want to crash on the couch in front of the tv. What if God wants you to scratch your dinner plans and pick up takeout from Panera Bread to pray and pay for the person behind you in line?

Our charge is to love others, to care for the widow and the orphan, to feed and clothe the homeless, to be the face of Jesus to a broken world. And we’re too busy. Our schedules are too full. We don’t allow God any room to interrupt us for His work. We box Him into our plans and expect Him to do what we want Him to do instead of the other way around.

I’m not saying any of this to condemn. Again, I’m preaching to myself. This space is literally named after the concept of redeeming our moments. So it should come as no surprise to me that I’m constantly being challenged in this area. My Planner Girl tendencies give me a semblance of control over my life, but God wants that control. He can do so much more with my time than I can. I’m simply here to invite you into this challenge with me.

It’s time for us to make time, to make room for God to move. He showed us how last year. Now it’s time to activate that slower pace. It’s time to decide to not be rushed. Jesus was never rushed, so neither should we be. Jesus always arrived right on time to encounter the exact right person, and so will we.

………….

Lord slow us down. Open our eyes. Tell us to turn around or go a different route home or to walk into specific stores and restaurants. Lead us to encounter the people You’ve placed in our path and give us the words You want to speak to them. We set our preferences aside. We lay our schedules at your feet. We surrender our plans to You. Interrupt us with what You want to do today.

God likes to put us in situations that are too big for us. Nothing is ever too big for Him.

It was a rollercoaster of a season. The highs being extreme, the lows even more so. I finally moved into my house I’d spent 9 months waiting for. But I immediately had to cut off some unhealthy friendships and felt incredibly isolated through the end of 2020. On top of that, my family walked through four deaths in about as many months – three of which in the three weeks right around Christmas and New Years. Oh, and I was spared from a bombing in downtown Nashville on Christmas morning. There were so many conflicting emotions running through my veins. I was numb.

Praying at church one morning during our church-wide fast, it hit me: this was a setup for something. Your whole life doesn’t just get turned upside down for nothing, ya know? Pruning is always for our growth.

Pacing back and forth in a back row in our auditorium, I said, “God I don’t know what You’re about to do in 2021. But it feels big and I’m scared to death.”

He answered right away. “You’re already dead to sin and dead to yourself. You’re only alive because you’re alive in Me. You have nothing to fear.”

For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—because anyone who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

romans 6:5-11 niv

This isn’t a phrase I use often: scared to death. It reminds me of “Cross my heart, hope to die.” I’m just not going to put those words out there. But I found myself saying it again a couple weeks later when the Co Groups pastor at my church approached me to lead a group.

Now, I’ve led small groups/life groups/all the various church groups before. I’ve led a women’s group and youth groups. I love discipleship and teaching God’s Word. I know how to do this. But everything feels like it’s on a higher level at this church. We don’t mess around. This is a heavier responsibility than what I’ve carried in the past. So it was an intimidating request. I knew I would be leading a group at some point, I just didn’t realize the time was now.

I asked my pastor if we could pull in a co-leader (or five – ha!)  – not so much because I didn’t think I was capable of leading alone, but as a single woman, it’s tricky sometimes. There’s no headship over me or my home. There’s no safety or covering or accountability that a husband would provide. Especially when there would be men and married couples in the group, I felt it would be best if I weren’t flying solo. After emailing back and forth discussing our options, God made it more and more clear this is exactly what I would be doing. His thoughts are not my thoughts. His ways are not my ways.

Standing in the middle of Hobby Lobby, writing my pastor back, I prayed again, “God this isn’t what I prefer. I don’t want to lead alone. If this is what You want, I’ll do it. But I’m scared to death.

This time it made more sense and now I want it to be my new mantra when I face big things. I WANT to be scared to death. I want whatever it is I’m afraid of to push me to a new level of being dead to myself. I want all my flesh and selfishness and fear to be put to death so I can rely FULLY on Christ. My aim is to be so dead I’m just not even here at all and it’s ALL HIM.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

2 corinthians 5:17 niv

Every audacious thing we do should have us so scared to do it on our own that it causes us to surrender and die to ourselves so God can do what He needs to do through us.

This past week the phrase slipped out of my mouth again. Believing for something that seems impossible most days, and praying for people and things I’d honestly rather not pray for… I whispered to God, “I’m scared to death.”

He answered again, right away, “Good.”

I’m exactly where He wants me to be. Praying for others in such a way that they might be blessed with what I want. Knowing that God will still take care of me, but being afraid of how painful the process might be. Having faith beyond what I can see. It’s another layer of flesh dying as I surrender at the foot of the cross.

This year still feels big. More opportunities to die a little at a time are on the way. I can feel it in my bones. But when I’m scared to death, I’m ready for anything God has for me.

Friends, what is that thing God is calling you into that feels bigger than you? What is He asking you to do that you can’t pull off on your own? Does your fear leave you paralyzed, or does it push you into surrender?

THE HOUSE TESTIMONY PART 3: The Purpose

“You’re buying a house alone?!? WHYYYYYYYY?”

I think I clapped back with something sassy like, “Yep, women are, in fact, allowed to own property in the 21st century.” I don’t usually jump to the hyper-feminist response so quickly – or ever. His question obviously hit a nerve.

As it turns out, buying a house, and especially having one built alone was a huge insecurity for me, and I didn’t at the time understand why God was asking this of me. Like I said in part 2, I was perfectly content living the apartment life before the less-than-delightful neighbor situation. It’s wildly convenient as a single woman to live in a building with 24 hour maintenance, gates and security around the complex, complete with a gym, two pools, and walking trails around a golf course. I was fine. I wanted my neighbors gone. But I was otherwise content.

When we get content, we stop relying on God. I was dependent on myself and thinking way too small. His plans and dreams for our lives are always bigger than our own.

So why was a house a part of God’s dream for me?

As I’m writing this, I’m hoping I don’t run down a bunch of rabbit trails, because now I have a million reasons and none of them are sassy comebacks. It all ends up circling back to the mandate over my church home here in Nashville: To clean the waters.

The people of the city said to Elisha, “Look, our lord, this town is well situated, as you can see, but the water is bad and the land is unproductive.” “Bring me a new bowl,” he said, “and put salt in it.” So they brought it to him. Then he went out to the spring and threw the salt into it, saying, “This is what the Lord says: ‘I have healed this water. Never again will it cause death or make the land unproductive.’” And the water has remained pure to this day, according to the word Elisha had spoken. 2 Kings 2:19-22

How often do we hear our church’s mission statement or mandate and get super hyped but never fully live it out? We repeat it like a fast food slogan but do we actually take ownership of it and live it out in our daily lives? Is it just a fun quote to wear on our Sunday morning swag?

If God called you to a church, and that church has a specific mandate over it (which it should), then that mandate becomes the mandate over your life. That is the mission you are to carry out as a part of that church body.

When God told me to move to Nashville, I still had a lot of questions. But the one thing that was crystal clear was the church family I was to be a part of. My purpose here is to carry out God’s mission in purifying the spiritual water in this city.

The Bible Belt has been tainted by years of legalism and “church hurt.” The music industry has been clouded with cut-throat competition and striving. The enemy has been floating on the murky waters of the Cumberland like he owns the place.

It’s time for Nashville to experience life abundant, to drink of a Living Water and never thirst again. We’re here to clean the waters, and we do that by prioritizing encounter over entertainment, intimacy over industry, presence over presentation, people over position, and Jesus over everything.

I know I sound like a church “about” webpage right now. But I genuinely believe this is why I’m here. TBCO friends, this is why God brought you here, too. It’s not something to talk about in the confines of our church building. It’s the call on our lives. It’s time to get to work.

To anyone who is living somewhere because God said to “go,” and you’re still not fully understanding why, I encourage you to look to the church He called you to. Their why is your why. There is something very specific in you that God thought was exactly what that part of the Body needed to bring the love of Jesus to your city.

Okay, but for real, what does that have to do with a house?

Building community is one of my things. It’s the how to my why. I love entertaining and hosting all the parties and wine tastings and casual hangs. Even more, I love when I can facilitate a place where people can encounter the love of God. Community is best when it feels like family. Discipleship is life on life. I can’t help heal this city if I don’t invest in relationship with humans.

When I moved to Nashville, I actually lived outside the city in the small town of Spring Hill. My apartment down there was brand new and absolutely gorgeous. And while I know plenty of amazing humans who live there now, I didn’t know any of them three years ago. God kept bringing people into my circles who lived in actual Nashville. No one wanted to drive to Practically-Alabama to hang out in my home… Or maybe I just felt guilty asking them to do so…But either way, my home wasn’t aiding in my purpose. And God didn’t call me to Spring Hill; He called me to Nashville.

My apartment in Franklin was significantly closer to Nashville, but I think I’ve already adequately covered why I couldn’t entertain in that home. I certainly can’t host other humans in a space I’m avoiding like the plague.

But why did God give me a house instead of a better apartment? (I’m getting there… I really promise.)

God started to show me I wasn’t yet fully committed to Nashville. I didn’t actually want to move here in the first place, and even though I grew to love it, I didn’t know how long I’d be staying. Renting was temporary, one lease at a time, year by year, and I carried with me a transient mindset. God wants me here longer than that. I needed to take ownership of this city and commit to it and God’s purpose for me here. Buying a house was surrendering on a whole new level to God and His plans.

On top of that, God wanted me to literally take territory back for the Kingdom. There is power in owning property. I’m gonna say that again. There is power when we, as heirs of God’s Kingdom own a piece of land. When we own property in the natural, we gain spiritual authority over the city we’re in.

“Take possession of the land and settle in it, because I have given it to you to occupy.” Numbers 33:53

This little plot of land, though it may not be much bigger than my house itself, is no longer up for grabs or owned by the prince of darkness. It’s Kingdom territory now. The day I placed a Bible in the foundation of the house was the day I took this land back and claimed it as God’s. The living and active Word of God is written on the frame of every room in this house where people will encounter Holy Spirit and transform this city with the love of Jesus. In my dark and broken neighborhood, this house will be a beacon of light.

And it’s the first of many… *wink* *wink*

The enemy loves the rivalry and bitterness in this city. But God is cleansing Nashville one person at a time. And He’s using our living rooms to meet with His people.

Why did God build me a new house instead of moving me into an already existing one?

I would absolutely love to go full Chip and Joanna on a Crieve Hall mid-century home, and won’t be fully satisfied with my Nashville life until I do. But I think God just likes to be a little extra sometimes.

My construction timeline almost perfectly matched my church’s new building renovations. When I went under contract in January 2020, God told me I’d be moving in when we were together as a church family in the new building. Between COVID complications, normal construction delays, and general Southern time, both my house and the building were delayed multiple times, deadlines leapfrogging each other all through the spring and summer. But sure enough, eight months later when our church was able to open our doors to the public for the first time since the Great American COVID Shutdown, I also got the Certificate of Occupancy for my house. I closed and moved less than two weeks later when our whole church family was able to come together for The Belonging Co Conference. God doesn’t let pandemics mess with His timeline. (That’s a sermon in itself. Friend, NOTHING in your life has been delayed because of a stupid virus. God’s promises are still true.)

Honestly, that all circles it back for me. It confirmed that I’m in the right church family. It confirmed what I’m here to do. Every prophetic word over my church’s building lined up with words over me and this house. God was making new spaces for His people to meet with Him.

And He simply wanted to build something new and fresh because He can. Like the temple Solomon built, every detail mattered to Him. If He cared about which specific wood was to cover the walls of His temple, then He cares whether mine are white, off-white, or First Star Grey. If He cared about the palm trees and flowers that were carved into the doors, then He cares about my bright white kitchen backsplash subway tiles. If He wanted basically the entire inside covered in pure gold, then He is definitely interested in my Mid-Century, Boho-Scandi vibe.

This home is where I encounter God daily. It is a space where I will minister to others and provide a peaceful place for them to rest in His presence. He cares about what it looks and feels like because He is here, too.

I’m living much more comfortably than I was in my last apartment, but the Lord’s favor is not for our own benefit. God doesn’t play that small. When He blesses us, it is to accomplish more for His Kingdom. While we will often reap the reward of it, favor is not for us to have a more comfortable life, but rather to drive us out of our comfort zone and reach further than we could before. With more favor comes more influence and more responsibility.

This house is not my own. The doors are always open for the people God puts in my circles. It’s a home for them to come find rest and belonging. This is a part of God’s Kingdom I get to help build.

The intensity of this controversy is wild – especially amongst Christians. Those of us who opted for the vaccine are viewed as basically selling our souls to the devil. We are apparently no longer Christians, don’t have faith in God’s protection, hate puppies and babies. We are basically bleeding heart liberals now. The vaccine probably made us that way. 

Yes, I got the vaccine. But my reasons were probably different than most.

I work in healthcare, so we were among the first it was offered to, and it was mandatory. Unless I signed a religious exemption, of course. I’m amazed at how many Christians encouraged me to do just that. I must have missed that verse in the Bible that says we aren’t allowed to receive vaccines or medical treatment. If that’s what you opted for, I genuinely would love to hear your opinions and see your Scriptural support. But the way I see it, it would be a straight up lie for me to refuse a vaccine under religious pretenses. I don’t know where in the Bible we are forbid from medical treatment, but I can find a verse or two where we’re commanded not to lie… soooo… that wasn’t really a viable option for me.

A couple friends offered me fake vaccine cards. I guess that was another option. But again, is lying about my vaccine status very Jesus-like of me?

My third option was to simply get vaccinated as my employer asked of me. My boss is an authority figure in my life. I know a lot of people don’t see it that way. Many will tell you that submitting to authority is toxic and my boss doesn’t own me. But God actually asks us to submit to our authority. So unless my boss is asking me to do something that goes against Him, I’ll likely oblige.  

The more I thought about it, the more I reflected on the eternal perspective. And while I wasn’t crazy about the  underfunded and unfinished scientific research of mRNA technology, I thought, “What’s the worst that could happen?” I could die or experience one of the other debilitating injuries that patients were experiencing. But in light of eternity, would that actually matter? Is my main goal in life to simply protect my earthly body?

I’m not out here wishing for death or battling suicidal ideations at all. You don’t have to worry. But when I think about the day I will stand at the throne of God and give an account for everything I’ve done here on earth, the LAST thing I would have wanted was to tell Him I lied and dishonored my employer to spare my temporary earthly body from harm. And if worst came to worst and the vaccine happened to strike me dead on impact, at least I could approach the throne will pure motive of honoring my employer. I knew that was something that would produce an eternal reward. 

Is that an extreme way of looking at it all? Maybe. Have I over-spiritualized it all? Possibly. But as someone who could have won an Emmy for her lying abilities back in the day, I’d rather honor than deceive.

So I got the vaccine. And I had some unpleasant side effects. It jacked with my endocrine system a bit. But at the end of it all, that’s just not going to matter as much as my heart and the person I am. 

I’m not here to tell you whether or not you should get vaccinated. I just wanted to share a reason why I did that most people probably haven’t even considered. Love you whether you’re vaxed or anti-vax. Blessings!

THE HOUSE TESTIMONY PART 2: The Honor of it All

“Why didn’t you just leave?” I’m sure many of you were wondering this after reading Part 1. I don’t blame you. It seems like an obvious solution.

During my season of being smoked out of my home, I had multiple friends who pleaded with me to pack up my things and move out. They were certain my apartment management wouldn’t come after me for all the associated fees if I broke my lease. They were probably right – I could have left at any time.

While they were trying to simply care for me and help me out of a tough situation, my friends’ advice truly wasn’t beneficial at all. I could have temporarily solved the problem and moved myself into a better apartment. But I wouldn’t have walked through the heart work God needed to accomplish for this next season and I’m positive I wouldn’t be in this house right now.

Friends, how you carry yourself as you exit one season is exactly how you will enter your next season.

I wanted to do so honorably.

First, I honored the space itself.

I’ve always had a personal policy with any apartment I’ve rented: steward it well by leaving the space cleaner than I found it. This wasn’t difficult with my Franklin apartment. This apartment complex should have been classy. Again, it was in Franklin, not Antioch. It was gated with all the amenities. It looked super nice when I toured the place. But it was nasty, y’all. The previous renter had cats, which was obvious by the cat hair in the dishwasher on move-in day. IN THE DISHWASHER! The walls, floors, windows, cabinets – everything was in bad shape.

What people are seeing now is a brand new home, perfect and customized to my liking, (all neutrals inside, obviously) with floors so clean you could eat off of them. What people didn’t see was me polishing my previous floors with my tears and scrubbing someone else’s pet stains out of the carpet. When people walk into my home today, they smell new drywall and fresh paint. They didn’t see me spend an entire weekend scrubbing the grease and layers of dust off the window blinds in my apartment, or wash the walls twice a week so they didn’t carry the stench of cigarettes.

Second, I honored the people.

I will always choose to honor those in authoritative positions because God put them there. And yes, my apartment manager was in a position of authority over me. She didn’t “work for me” because I paid her each month. She had authority over a space I was borrowing. I felt incredibly disrespected by her, but my goal was to make sure she couldn’t say the same about me. I always went above and beyond to show kindness to her, even when I was livid with the situation.

“In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” Matthew‬ ‭5:16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I also honored my neighbors. Early on, God opened my eyes to one specific way I could be praying for them. It was apparent my downstairs neighbors were smoking in the bedroom each morning. Guys, a person who can’t even get out of bed to depend on a chemical addiction first thing in the morning is not a person experiencing the fullness of God. That is a level of despair I’ve never personally experienced. So first thing every morning I would pray into their depression. I would pray blessings into their life and that joy would cross their path daily. This kept me focused on showing them grace instead of judgement.

Now, I FOR SURE wasn’t always a beaming ray of sunshine. I had a lot of angry temper tantrums alone with the Lord. I can’t even count the number of times I stormed downstairs to yell at my neighbors in the middle of the night just to be stopped at the last minute by the Lord asking me to go back upstairs and sit with Him. He had me read certain chapters of my pastor’s book, The Opposite Life night after night after night as I learned to deny my flesh and walk in His Spirit. Laying down my pride and offense to honor those who were blatantly dishonoring me was hard-learned. But I’ve seen God grant favor because of my obedience this past year. The house is just the biggest, most tangible example.

Third, I honored the covenant.

Yes, my lease was a covenant agreement. We don’t tend to value contracts and agreements like we should. And we’re quick to dismiss them and walk away if we feel it’s in our right to, or if we’re dissatisfied with how the other party is conducting themselves. But I believe God has a different perspective. We usually only use that word “covenant” when we talk about marriage or one of God’s covenants with us – the big agreements, right? It might sound extreme, but every contract we sign is a covenant. We are to let our yes be yes and our no be no. Keeping our word matters. The promises we give matter. The commitments we make matter.

I’m not currently married, but until I am and even after, I want to esteem each and every agreement with the same significance as a marriage covenant. I want to be a woman of my word. I want God to be able to trust that I will honor my commitments, whether it be a marriage someday or an apartment lease now.

My apartment manager certainly didn’t honor parts of my lease, but that doesn’t excuse me from honoring my end of the agreement.

Someone else’s dishonor toward me never gives me permission to sin and dishonor them in return. So I stayed, paid rent on time, was still a kind and respectful neighbor and tenant, left the apartment squeaky clean, and walked away with a clear conscience. On my way out the door, I didn’t even post the revealing google review that I may or may not have, but definitely did draft up. And I really had to overcome my flesh with this one. I had a million reasons why I should post something. “Lord, other people need to know about this place. It’s not as nice as it looks. I have to warn them!!” Nope. Noooooope.

If God is calling you out of a place, don’t flip it the bird as you walk away. Transition is a normal and frequent part of life. But there is a right and righteous way to walk it out – even when we’ve been hurt or offended.

I am seeing people right now exit one season of their life without honoring the humans around them. People are leaving their churches and trash-talking their pastors all over social media. People are quitting jobs without even so much as giving two weeks notice. Even in the little non-transitional things, people feel the need to always voice their opinion, write the complaint up, post the nasty review. Humans walk in offense by nature, but God asks us to lay that down and walk in humility instead.

Good sense and discretion make a man slow to anger, And it is his honor and glory to overlook a transgression or an offense [without seeking revenge and harboring resentment]. Proverbs 19:11 AMP

Pride grows in the petri dish of offense. But it is to your honor and glory to humble yourself and forgive an offense. When we choose to walk in humility God promises to show favor to the humble and lift them up. (1 Peter 5:5-6) The honor you give those who least deserve it will determine the honor God will bestow upon you.

If I have to choose, I’d rather be honored and revered by the Creator of the Universe than demand honor from my rude neighbor.

Are you honoring the people who are disrespecting you? Are you showing honor to the people who disagree with you? Instead of trying to force respect from people or seek revenge for an offense, what would it look like if we as a Church learned to lay down our pride and honor each and every individual as an image-bearer of God? Imagine the blessing and favor that would line our path as we walked into our next seasons.

THE HOUSE TESTIMONY PART 1: The Financials

I didn’t let people in on how bad it really was. A year ago I was living in a smoke-filled apartment and sleeping in my car more nights than in my bed – if I was sleeping at all. Now I’m a homeowner breathing in that new-house smell, sleeping in the most peaceful bedroom I could imagine. Look what a difference a year can make.

Let me back up to exactly a year ago: December 2019.

It had been about two months at this point… My apartment would fill with cigarette smoke every morning and evening, courtesy of a few inconsiderate neighbors smoking inside their unit. On top of being fuming mad and spending hours a day airing out the place and scrubbing it from top to bottom, I was actually physically sick.

After an urgent care visit, and with a sinus infection and bronchitis, I checked myself into a hotel two miles from my front door to get a reprieve from the smoke and get a few nights of good sleep.

I had been around the world multiple times with my apartment manager. Smoking inside was a lease violation, of course. And my lease had more than enough protection for me written in. But we all know how that goes when we’re in the thick of it. We knew who the culprit was. But management would neither evict them for smoking inside, nor let me out of my lease without the extensive fees.

Short of hiring an attorney, I had already done everything in the natural to fight this, so my main motivation while staying in a hotel was not just physical recovery, but a time to mentally separate from the battle, pray into the situation, and ask God how He wanted me to fight in the spiritual realm.

I kept hearing Him say, “Take care of my house and I’ll take care of yours.”

Friends, sometimes God is just waiting for our willingness to step into something bigger before He opens a door we didn’t even know has been right in front of us all along. And sometimes because He is so good, He will actually let a situation get so bad that we start to desire the something more He has for us.

At this same time, my church family was in the process of renovating an old warehouse of sorts to be our new church building. I instinctively thought God wanted me to sow into our building fund again. However, I really did not want to approach it with the wrong attitude or try to manipulate the situation for my gain. God isn’t my genie; He’s my Lord. Giving to my church wouldn’t be a bad thing, but I needed to make sure my motives were pure. I wanted confirmation that this was the spiritual act of faith God was asking me to participate in as I surrendered to His deliverance.

Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.

malachi 3:10

I was set to help with Christmas decor at the church, mostly with people I hadn’t met yet, so I asked God to send someone that evening to tell me a giving testimony or bring up the building fund in some way as a confirmation that I was to sow a certain dollar amount toward it.

None of us actually knew what the plan was for that night. I thought it was Christmas Eve service decor prep – decorating trees, and such. Someone else brought a laptop ready to plan and take notes. But sitting in our youth pastors’ house, our team lead walked in with boxes of ribbon to tie onto chair-shaped ornaments to pass out at church. (We thought they were mangers at first. Oops.) She started talking about a church family member’s testimony and the upcoming correlating message we would hear encouraging our community to see each chair as a person who would hear the gospel because of the seeds we sow into the new building.

He didn’t just send me one quick conversation. The whole night was focused on building God’s house.

I don’t know if anyone noticed me fighting back tears all night. Stringing ribbon onto little wooden chair ornaments, praying for each person those chairs represented, somehow I knew God was about to do something way bigger than I expected.

The following day, still in my hotel room, I strung some more ornaments together and emptied my checking account into the building fund. It wasn’t much. It wasn’t nearly what I wish I would have been able to give. But it was all I had at the time. Unable to live in my own home, holding these symbols and pouring into our new church home, it was one of the most sacred moments of my life between me and the Lord.

When I heard, “Take care of my house and I’ll take care of yours,” all I was really hoping for were new, non-smoking neighbors. I was content living in my little Franklin apartment. But like I said, God wants our willingness to step into His bigger plans for us when we’re thinking too small.

When we sow seeds, we always reap a harvest. Sometimes it’s a quick turnaround. Other times, we have to wait months, years, decades to see the fruit. Mine was a hurry-up-and-wait situation. I saw a “suddenly,” then I sat on God’s word for eight months while He built my promise.

About a week after my building fund offering, God told me I was going to be buying a house in 2020. I sowed my seed in faith, but my faith was still so small. I laughed in such a way that I’m shocked God didn’t ask me to name my house “Issac.” I’ve always had more than enough, but I didn’t have enough for a downpayment on a house. And now I had even less. That’s why I HAD to entrust it all to God. With nothing left, He could take over. God can do everything with our nothing.

After the New Year, I met up with a couple real estate friends to discuss where I should start and also to get connected with a lender, because, “I think God wants me to buy a house this year, and I know nothing of the process.”

Within 12 days of meeting with them, I was pre-approved for a loan, paid a deposit on a lot for a house yet to be built, and under contract. This was exactly one month after God told this hopeless, sick, weary girl she would be buying a house. CAN I GET A, “YESSSSS, JESUS!?!”

Honestly, though, I paid nothing. My parents were beyond eager to help and generously gave, reminding me that so is our Heavenly Father, if we would JUST ASK. Then God pulled off some other crazy miracles. First, the price tag on this brand new house – in the location it’s in – was just bonkers. I still can’t wrap my head around it. (My choices in East Nashville were basically: a brand new house in my price range, or a falling apart, half-the-size house asking for $100,000 more. Hi. Duh.) Then, when my overtime dried up after four years of consistency, He sent checks in the mail, a no-strings-attached government grant (WHAT!?!) and a preferred-lender credit from the builder toward closing costs. And I can’t forget the 2.875% interest rate I snagged, because COVID. God turned my little seed of faith into everything I needed to transition into His promised land. I literally didn’t pay a penny out of my pocket toward the downpayment or closing costs. God covered it all. Every time I sowed another seed into His plans, He replenished and multiplied the funds like I’ve never seen before. He REALLY wanted this house, guys.

Now, like I said, this whole scenario was “hurry up and wait.” The financing came together quickly because it had to. To get THIS house, I had to place a deposit the same day I visited the lot. There was little time to think things over. God made it ridiculously obvious that this was Him moving, so I could take a massive, scary leap super fast.

Often though, (basically always) when God gives us a promise, He sends us directly back to where we were. We hold that promise for a while in our same mundane, frustrating, too-small life before it comes to fruition. And in the waiting that followed, the smoke didn’t leave my apartment. Instead of just my downstairs neighbors smoking, it was also next door, behind me, and the guy across the hall liked to smoke right outside my front door. I was literally surrounded on all sides.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. We’ll talk more about this next week, because how we honor others and how we carry ourselves leading up to seasons of promotion matter more to God than the money.

It’s easy to look at the material aspect of this all, but God’s favor wasn’t just the house. It was getting me out of my small-mindedness. It was me being obedient to get on board with His plans in and through me.

My new house isn’t my house at all. It’s just the newest thing God’s given me to steward. Everything He blesses us with is for the benefit of others, not just ourselves. This house is a place for His people to gather, grow, worship, and encounter His presence. It’s God’s house. He paid for it. It’s all His.

I will place on his shoulder the key to the house of David; what he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I will drive him like a peg into a firm place; he will become a seat of honor for the house of his father. 

Isaiah 22:22-23

Peter is definitely one of my favorite humans in the Bible. Strong-willed, passionate, a little reckless and unstable… He had this habit of speaking and acting before thinking things through. And in spite of that, Jesus used Peter as the firm foundation on which to build His church.

The other night, I was reading through one of Peter’s first encounters with Jesus:

One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, the people were crowding around him and listening to the word of God. He saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets.He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break.So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!”For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.”So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

Luke 5: 1-11 (NIV, emphasis mine)

One word in verse 5 jumped out at me: but.

“Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. BUT because You say so, I will let down the nets.”

There is so much power in that one little conjunction. But.

Peter recalled all the facts. He knew the odds were against them. But.

No doubt, Peter thought about this before he opened his mouth. (A round of applause for Peter, please.)

Peter was basically saying, “Here’s reality. We’ve been working for nothing. There were no fish for us to catch tonight. BUT Your word trumps reality. And I will be obedient to Your word.”

When God asks us to trust Him with something, He isn’t asking us to deny reality. He’s asking us to have more faith in Him than in our circumstances. 

In all actuality, the Lord will often allow our situations to reach dire straits. Think Lazarus.

A man named Lazarus was sick. He lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha. This is the Mary who later poured the expensive perfume on the Lord’s feet and wiped them with her hair. Her brother, Lazarus, was sick.So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling him, “Lord, your dear friend is very sick.” But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.” So although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, he stayed where he was for the next two days. Finally, he said to his disciples, “Let’s go back to Judea.” But his disciples objected. “Rabbi,” they said, “only a few days ago the people in Judea were trying to stone you. Are you going there again?” Jesus replied, “There are twelve hours of daylight every day. During the day people can walk safely. They can see because they have the light of this world. But at night there is danger of stumbling because they have no light.” Then he said, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but now I will go and wake him up.” The disciples said, “Lord, if he is sleeping, he will soon get better!” They thought Jesus meant Lazarus was simply sleeping, but Jesus meant Lazarus had died. So he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead. And for your sakes, I’m glad I wasn’t there, for now you will really believe. Come, let’s go see him.” Thomas, nicknamed the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, “Let’s go, too—and die with Jesus.” When Jesus arrived at Bethany, he was told that Lazarus had already been in his grave for four days.Bethany was only a few miles down the road from Jerusalem, and many of the people had come to console Martha and Mary in their loss.When Martha got word that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him. But Mary stayed in the house. Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask.” Jesus told her, “Your brother will rise again.” “Yes,” Martha said, “he will rise when everyone else rises, at the last day.” Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?” “Yes, Lord,” she told him. “I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God.” Then she returned to Mary. She called Mary aside from the mourners and told her, “The Teacher is here and wants to see you.” So Mary immediately went to him. Jesus had stayed outside the village, at the place where Martha met him. When the people who were at the house consoling Mary saw her leave so hastily, they assumed she was going to Lazarus’s grave to weep. So they followed her there.When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled. “Where have you put him?” he asked them. They told him, “Lord, come and see.” Then Jesus wept. The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!” But some said, “This man healed a blind man. Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?” Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb, a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance. “Roll the stone aside,” Jesus told them. But Martha, the dead man’s sister, protested, “Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible.” Jesus responded, “Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believe?” So they rolled the stone aside. Then Jesus looked up to heaven and said, “Father, thank you for hearing me. You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.” Then Jesus shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” And the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound in graveclothes, his face wrapped in a headcloth. Jesus told them, “Unwrap him and let him go!”

John 11:1-44 (NLT, emphasis mine)

Even Jesus wasn’t oblivious to the fact that Lazarus had died. So He certainly doesn’t expect us to be ignorant in whatever situations we find ourselves in.

But He does expect us to have faith outside of our circumstances.

I love that He point-blank said, “I’m glad I wasn’t there, for now you will really believe.”

He knew Lazarus was sick, so He stayed where He was for another two days. Intentionally. For the sake of those who were with Him. For our sakes, so we would really believe and see God’s glory.

The more impossible something looks, the more glory God gets out if it.

Did you notice that Martha used the same “but” that Peter used? 

“Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. BUT even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask.”

Again, here are the facts. BUT I have more faith in You than I have in what’s right in front of me.

We don’t have to look the other way when life gets hard. We can fully admit when something seems impossible. But we can’t stop there. God is so much bigger than the impossible.

That “but” represents us stepping aside, surrendering our worry, our fear, our earthly logic and reason. That three letter word is us giving control back to the God of impossible things.

Catching fish when there are none. Raising the dead. Mending broken relationships. Bringing back a prodigal child. Providing next month’s rent.

Is God asking you to be obedient one more time, even though it doesn’t make sense? Is He asking you to just have faith?

It may look as if all hope is lost. But…

“B U T” was originally posted in 2015.

I took a week off social media and this was the message I came back to on facebook. It sounds like a one-star google review, and we know how accurate those are.

I was not dating this man, nor were we even in conversation. We have a few humans loosely in common, but I literally have never even met him. When I deactivated my accounts for a few days he became offended, made it about himself, and chose to chastise a complete stranger.

My personal dating standards aside, this is a classic case displaying what offense does. It deceives us into thinking someone’s actions are about us. We think people are being mean and hurtful when in reality we haven’t crossed their mind at all. Not everything everyone does is about us. This guy thought I was rejecting him when I was over here in my own world doing my own thing, not even knowing he existed.

We’ve all been there in one way or another. Maybe not in such an extreme way, but we’ve all experienced offense.

Recently I was offended by something that honestly had very little to do with me.  After being super childish and petty about it for a couple days, ready to completely cut someone off, God asked me if that was really how I wanted to “fix” the issue. He showed me I had actually been holding and building months of offense toward this person, where I had contributed to the issue, and that I had to address it head-on instead of avoiding conflict or a person entirely.

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

Hebrews 12:14-15

Offense must be confronted and brought to light, but obviously not in the way this man confronted me. He was clearly offended at more than just a stranger’s actions.

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

Proverbs 19:11

Instead of pointing the finger at someone else’s mistakes, first ask God to reveal what’s going on beneath the surface of you. Is it unmet expectations? Is it you misunderstanding their words or behavior? Is it a deeper, unresolved pain from your past that is being triggered now? WHY are you offended?

Now, if you need to verbalize forgiveness for a person, if there has been a true conflict that needs to be sorted, and definitely if you need to repent for something you’ve done against someone else, then approach that person in humility and seek reconciliation. But I will say this – and I’ve again learned the hard way – you don’t actually need to have the “I forgive you” conversation with everyone. If through your conversations with the Lord, you learn you’ve been holding onto offense because you perceived a wrongdoing and the other person has no idea they’ve even hurt you, you might just need to repent and release that offense to God. Don’t drag a person into your mess when they didn’t actually do anything to you or you’ve misinterpreted the situation.

Offense is a poison that will flow deep through your veins to calcify walls around your heart. It’s our job to guard our hearts against the spirit of offense, regardless of what others are doing to us or around us, or it will destroy us from the inside out.

It is imperative that we purge all offense from our hearts because we are called to be united with our brothers and sisters. Offense is the most common tool the enemy uses to stir up strife and create division within the Body of Christ. Offense is the root cause of countless broken friendships, divorces, family discord, and churches splitting different ways.

Fight for unity. Seek forgiveness and reconciliation as best as you can. Where there is unity, the Lord commands blessing.

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard, down on the collar of his robe. It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.

Psalm 133